Dr. Suess once told a story about judging. It was a tale about creatures called Sneetches, some of whom marched around with their noses in the air because they were star-bellied Sneetches, and they were the better of the species. The story continues with the plain Sneetches painting stars on their bellies, and upon seeing this, the original Star-Bellied Sneetches painted over theirs. It was a chaos of back and forth until finally all the Sneetches realized how absurd their actions were. Eventually they realized that "Sneetches are sneetches, and no kind of sneetch is the best on the beach".
How often do we do that? "Look at me! God made me so good - I never sin! But look how he made you. What's wrong with you?" We are the Sneetches in this story. We walk around with stars on our bellies and pride in our hearts, but where does God come into all of this?
This week I've been struggling with judgement, and by judgement, I mean being judged and trying not to lash out in response. As ironic as it sounds, a couple of adults in my church, my church for goodness sake, have been doling out copious judgement for me this week. No matter what I do, no matter how I act, no matter what happens - somehow the outcome is always the same. My actions are interpreted as immature and I am just in general looked down on and judged as not "Christian enough" or something along those lines.
It's things like that that just honestly make me hurt and confused. I don't see it. I scream to myself, "How do they even see that? They don't even know me, but even the small bits they do know, how do they get THAT out of those actions?"
I try to justify to myself that I'm enough, "But I get straight A's! I take AP and honors classes. I serve on leadership committees and plan chapels and write skits! I am the editor of the school newspaper! I tutor low income kids after school and teach preschool Sunday School! I sing on worship team and organize events! I love to know everyone and have so many friends." I try to prove to myself that I'm enough, and that if they would just know these things about me, they would respect me.
What I'm learning though is that it's not about me, in more ways than one. No matter what I do, these persons will still hold the same opinion and still gossip about me. It's not actually about me, or who I am, or what I do. It's really not. And it's not about me in God's kingdom either. God doesn't care what I do or what I've done.
Sometimes when people say that God doesn't care what you've done, I think we interpret it as he doesn't care what you've done wrong. What I'm learning is that God really just doesn't care what you've done at all. Whether it's awesome, or awful, he doesn't care. With God, it's not about coming in with a resume. God will just throw it aside anyway and say, "I know the perfect job for you baby!" I will never be enough. But there's grace in God, and there's enough for me. I will never be enough, but God is enough.
In the end, it doesn't matter what they think, because I know what God thinks. He calls me Beloved and Redeemed. He says I am Blameless and Pure and Holy and Worthy. I am His and that's what matters, because I was never theirs anyway.
In one of my favorite YouTube videos, Matt Chandler says (speaking like God), "There is no one who can condemn you. I don't, and if I don't, no one can. Who will even bring a charge against you? You're mine. What court could they possibly charge you in? Everything's mine!"
Sometimes it's easy for me to put Jesus on my side. "They're Pharisees. He hates them!" But that's not true. Jesus has as much love for each of them as he has for me. He has called them out and loved them also. He would have still sacrificed himself, even if it was for one of them only. God loves the people I hate, and that means I have to love them too. Because he loves, I love, and because he cares, I care.
So my dear friends, remember this week that you are enough. It does not matter what others think, because you are not theirs, and you never were. You are His, and he calls you Beloved. He says that you're enough. Have love for your haters, and show compassion to everyone around you. Don't look to vanquish your dragons, but look inside the towers for the princesses that are judging you. Act with beauty and courage for their sake. Love dangerously and courageously this week. Remember, like Mother Teresa said, "If you judge, you have no time to love."
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