Who are you created to be?

           I was recently invited to participate in a scholarship competition at North Park University in Chicago. On that blustery Friday morning, as I entered the chapel sipping my tea, I chose a seat next to a group of three girls and as I sat down, I struck up a conversation. "Hi I'm Beth," I said - though a small gesture, it seemed to be the action needed to break down the barriers between these girls sitting in silence. We began to chat, and I noticed that one of the girls seemed a little irritated at my efforts to be friendly. The conversation continued; one girl asked me what class I had signed up to attend that afternoon. I responded, and another girl said, "Oh, what building is that in?" "Hmmm... good question," I thought, "I'm not sure, I didn't write it down. I'm sure they'll tell us where to go when the time comes."

            This seemed to trigger something in that first girl who I had earlier noticed. She began to talk about how she was being careful to write down everything, and she even printed out a map online the night before so that the professors would see that she was responsible. One aspect of this scholarship competition was that various professors and recruiters would be observing our interactions in discussion and panel sessions. So this girl continued, mentioning how she carefully selected an outfit that was professional, yet appeared to be something she would wear on an average day, trying to convey that she dressed business casual on a day to day basis. I mentally laughed at her comments, sure that her mother or father had thoroughly prepared her for this day.

            A few minutes later, a stately older man approached us, and shook our hands while introducing himself by name. The girl's entire demeanor changed when the man entered the conversation. Suddenly she was enchanting, all smiles, and trying to dominate the conversation. She asked if he was a professor and he asked us to guess what his job was. "University president!" I guessed, then followed it by saying, "or at least a history professor." After all the girls threw around a couple of guesses, he told us that he was, in fact, the president of the University.

            He continued to chat with us, asking each of us where we were from. When I told him outside of Philadelphia, his interest was piqued and he asked what town exactly. Lansdale, it turns out, was a familiar name to this man. He informed me that his son, daughter in law, and two grandchildren lived in Wayne. "Wayne!" I exclaimed, "I know exactly where that is! I've been lost there. Can't ever forget a place when you've driven around it aimlessly trying to find your way home." He laughed and offered me his son's phone number in case I should ever get lost again. I told him that I should probably take it because getting lost is not an entirely uncommon occurrence for me. After exchanging a few more pleasantries, he moved on to greet other prospective students.

            The girl seemed quite sullen about the fact that I got more of the President's time, and shortly after he walked away she said, "Wow I never would've brought up the fact that I get lost a lot." She seemed even more bitter when he later mentioned in his opening address that he met a student who lived near his son!

            We were later split into groups of about 10-15 and each group was taken to a conference room with a professor who introduced a thought provoking topic, and sat back to observe our group discuss it. As I sat in my group, I noticed how hard so many people seemed to be trying. I could tell how hard some were trying to bring Jesus and faith into the conversation, and how hard others were trying to just say anything at all, even when they were speaking up just to say, "I agree with him." As we moved to another conference room for a new session, I was talking to a couple of kids, and one boy said, "I'm just more of a listener, you know? So I'm forcing myself to talk and to think of things to say, and it's just really hard."

            The world is filled with people like this - people who are experts at shape shifting. They can be whatever you want them to be: loud, quiet, demure, flirtatious. assertive, agreeable. They are experts at determining what you want, and being that person. We are a society of people pleasers, teaching our kids to manipulate and deceive, teaching that they must act a certain way to please certain people and they must act a different way to please other people, but it is absolutely essential that we please everyone.

            This leaves me wondering who the people I met that Friday really are. What does that girl actually wear on a day to day basis? How mature and prepared is she with her friends? How does that boy actually interact with people? What does he think of while he's listening to others? I met many facades that day, when what I really wanted to meet was other students. These kids were convinced that who they really are isn't good enough. They have to be what the recruiters want, because their authentic selves won't earn them a scholarship. Meanwhile, I'm sure the admissions counselors are tired of meeting student after student who are all the same.

            There are studies showing that one of the traits most valued by young people is authenticity. Kids want somebody who's real, because somebody who is real is somebody who can be trusted. They aren't going to be one person at school and a totally different person at church. You can rely on them to stay constant, and genuine. You can know what to expect from them because they are open about their flaws, and their good traits are real, not fabricated to impress somebody.

            It's not just kids who crave this realness, the whole world is searching for people who simply are. Saint Catherine of Sienna once said, "Be who you were created to be, and you will set the world on fire." There is something magnetic about genuine people: something both free and freeing. Their lights shine so brightly, others can't help but come to see, and somehow, one person being just who they are gives permission for others to do the same until slowly but surely, the world is lit by the flames of millions. The world needs these people and their radiance, unabashed honesty, and truth. Despite the lies that we are fed, the lies that say that our true self isn't good enough, attractive enough, smart enough, driven enough, we believe deep down that we are enough, but we are simply too afraid to be that person for fear that the lies will be true. To be who we were really created to be means living bravely, knowing that we will be criticized, and that some of the lies may be true, but that we are still entirely loveable and worthy regardless. We have to live in the light, and share the flame with others, rather than hiding who we are in the darkness.