The Sinner's Creed

Christianity is filled with creed: ideologies, not understood, simply recitations for stone hearts. My heart is far from stone, it's been softened by tears, and overflows with love, joy, and also sadness. These creeds just don't do it for me, they just don't say what I believe. They don't state all of the truths that God has taught me in my life. So here is my creed. It's a sinner's creed, a belief of the broken. Don't judge it harshly, just accept the words of my heart for exactly that. This isn't perfect, this isn't the Truth. This is my heart.


I believe in God. A big strong powerful God. My God is outside of human conception. He neither dwells in time or shape that we can conceive. He's not an old white man, he's whatever speaks to our hearts best. Sometimes God is the big, black momma I wished I always had.


I believe that God created each of us with love and care. He knew our heart long before we were born, or even a thought. He knew, and knows every pain and sorrow, every heartbreak that we will ever endure. He knows all of our joys and passions, and the desires of our hearts. I believe that we were all kissed by God, that he came near to us and breathed his spirit, his Ruach, into us, and has never left since.


I believe that God is Three, and He's one. He's whatever we need, whenever we need it. I believe that his Spirit is in every one of us at every moment, meaning that God lives in us. I believe that God sent a part of himself to live and teach on Earth and show us how to love, and bring Heaven to Earth. I believe that God sacrificed himself to show us the extent of his love, and the sacrificial nature of love. 


I believe that we are all a Beautiful Letdown. We all screw up more than we do it right. We fail more than we succeed. We disappoint, we backstab, we hurt, we kill, we sin, and despite all of this, we are forgiven. I believe that because God forgives, we forgive. I believe that all sins are the same, and no sin is beyond forgiveness. 


I believe that God is all about forgiveness and reconciliation. I think that there is beauty in restoration, and we are called to pray, Thy Kingdom come, and then do it too.


I believe in grace and mercy for the fallen. I believe in compassion for the poor. I believe in generosity, and open hearts. I believe in living simply so that others may simply live. I believe that charity isn't enough, God doesn't give us to give money, he calls us to give our hearts. I believe in being the poor, not just helping them.


I believe in community. I believe that we weren't made to be alone. We need each other, and we find God in each other. We were meant to show God to each other, and find the Spirit of God in each one of us. We were meant to be companions and friends, strugglers along the way, each of us on our Road to Shambala. 


I believe in the power of love. I believe that we were meant to love each of those around us, and love those far away. I believe that we were meant to share generous smiles, and kind words with those both familiar, and strange. 


I believe in callings and signs and spiritual experiences. I believe in open ended questions, and vast, open ideas. I believe in opening the boxes of faith, and releasing God from behind the steel curtains of so many hearts. I believe in lots and lots of questions, and learning to be comfortable in the awkwardness of not knowing. I believe in settling for wonder instead of answers, because without wonder, how could life be wonderful? 


I believe that the Bible can be summed up in two words, Love and Freedom. It's all about being free from the things that bind us, the things that confine us and limit us. It's about freedom from shame, regret, fear, anger, grudges, families, histories. It's about loving God and loving each other.


I believe that it's ok to be afraid and angry and upset. It's ok not to have a happy ending. It's ok to admit that you're not perfect, and that your struggles are present tense, not past. They're still alive and well, not something buried beneath a facade of perfection.


I believe in myself and I believe in you. We are the Body of Christ, and we are children of God. We are the hope of the world, and the heirs of God's kingdom.


These are my beliefs. They are far from perfected, they are far from being all true. This isn't approved or tested theology, this is just the truth in my heart. These are the words in my soul. Welcome to my life (: